How do we start with self-love? We first need to understand and then over stand what it truly means. I have met so many clients, seen many people in my personal life and even myself have thought that I loved myself unconditionally but that was not always the case.
We start by becoming aware of our association of love and the attachments with have with it. Your attachments will be what you “believe” is love. Our conditioning of love, we come to understand and what we believe is love comes from our care givers when we are born and even whilst we are in the womb. We develop an awareness of what we believe is good, bad, acceptable, not acceptable, what is allowed etc. What happens is that our world becomes distorted of what is real and what unconditional love is. I want to say that love has no boundaries, love does not decide what is right or wrong, it doesn’t define a person, it doesn’t demand or expect. Love is just the full acceptance, allowance, the over-standing, understanding, it’s the being present for another without judgement, it is the attention we give to another person, the gratitude we have in life, the appreciation of what we do have rather than what we don’t have and the gratitude of having something/someone in our life that we no longer have and much more. The more we allow ourselves to acknowledge this, the more we start to apply that unconditional love to ourselves. We start by acknowledging you in this moment now. Because all your experiences you have had, have moulded who you are presently so love that you, let go of any association or attachment to what you think you maybe and just love you as you are now. Who you are now won’t be who you will become.
Once you start to love yourself without condition which is no labels, no beliefs, no attachment, we can really start to shift our awareness and how we interact in the world. It also means going back and loving yourself for the times you felt neglected, pushed out, punished, the times when you were happy and laughing and just being. Our “negative” behaviours when we are so young are just us having a trigger from something outside of us (when in fact we are just being us in that moment we are processing something that makes no understanding in our world at that moment) that we have no control over and what happens it gets a label. Instead of understanding and knowing what is really going on a deeper level we apply a label which disempowers ourselves and our children, family and friends.
We start with small steps because the ego will come up with many reasons why we shouldn’t (this is because we are stepping out of victim consciousness or comfort zone). I started with doing my yoga for an hour every morning and it built from there. I now spend upto 2 hours doing mantras, 2 hours doing yoga almost daily, I cook fresh food as often as I can and when I move I will be growing my own. These for me, are me consciously loving my mind, body and soul. When we love our mind and how it works we let go of conditioning, I can tell you now how I process my world and have processed it makes no sense to most people but it doesnt need to it is just me who needs to understand it and me who allows herself to go through the process regardless, and if there is someone who gets thats then great, when we love our bodies as they are and we work with them rather than against them its love, and we nurture and nourish our souls through the love we give ourselves consistently we shift, we align with who we are, our world will change for the better.
Nicola Kelleher - Inspiring You
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